A different approach to curfews

What is a good curfew for a teenager?

Image by qf8/Flickr

What is a reasonable curfew for your teenager? You can survey other parents and see what their rules are, but there are so many variables.

Instead of a one-size fits all approach – or even one curfew for all situations  – I came across this interesting approach recently on Quora.

A young woman, Briezy, wrote that her parents set a curfew depending on where she was going and who she was with:

Wrong place + wrong people = earliest
Right place + wrong people = earlier
Wrong place + right people = later
Right place + right people = latest

As a teenager, Briezy organised her social life around these guidelines. She wrote: “If I wanted to be out later, I chose to go out with certain people to certain places. If I REALLY wanted to go somewhere not so great or with not as good people, I knew I had to be in earlier. When your teen understands that effectively THEY are in charge of their curfew, they make decisions to show responsibility. You’d be surprised how quickly they start choosing safer venues and more positively influential friends. They feel like you respect them more, and in turn respect the time you set for that night in particular.”

I think as parents we might do this subconsciously anyway. For example, I have a general rule that there are no sleepovers after a party, however there are a couple of my daughter’s friends who I would relax this rule for. To be open with your teenager about the ‘curfew grading system’, you would need to know their friends pretty well to know which category you’d put them in. But of course, this is always a good idea anyway.

Do you think you know your kids’ friends well enough for this system?

email

 

Comments

  1. I love this. What smart parents to create the moving curfew. It may not work for all kids but I’d like to think it will work for mine. Thanks for sharing. Rachel x

    #teamIBOT was here

  2. oh i LOVE that curfew system… i dont actually remember having a curfew, i thinik i was too scared of my dad ha ha ha

    #teamIBOT

  3. ooooo curfew!!! Mine was 1am when clubbing…. when I was younger… so most of the time I never went clubbing.

  4. Love it… wonder if Miss 15 will? ;) x

    • What she might like is having some control over the situation. Interesting too that the young woman felt her parents respected her to manage the curfew herself.

  5. It’s good to hear what strategies other parents have come up with. Gives me some good ideas to play around with. :)

  6. jess@diaryofasahms says:

    This is a fantastic idea!
    My kids aren’t anywhere near this stage at the moment, but I’m working on building a good relationship with them now, so that we can talk about this stuff when they are older

Comments

*

CommentLuv badge