Don’t punish me for my friends’ behaviour

On day 4 of our National Youth Week teen writing event, Alex (15) asked parents to not judge their kids by their friends.

I have a lot of friends who have WAY too much leeway. It’s probably not that their parents couldn’t care less, it’s more so they just don’t have the time to deal with their children in a proper enough manner. Having this leeway causes these children to become rebellious I guess. This is when things such as drugs, alcohol and sex come aboard.

Teens in park

Photo by Robert Trm/Flickr

I have friends jigging at least 6 or 7 periods a week to ‘go down to the park for a sesh.’ My personal belief is that they are not grabbing enough attention at home from their parents, so they feel the need to grab it from their peers instead.

Where I fit into this argument is that I don’t really think my parents understand how bad some of the other children are. Props to my parents for actually taking care of me, and giving me boundaries. But sometimes, it’s just not fair. I will not be allowed to go to a party, just because somebody else is doing something they shouldn’t be, OR I will get into trouble for doing the slightest thing wrong, whilst my friends are out getting drunk off their faces and having unprotected sex.

Basically, some parents need to learn to trust more, and others need to learn to hold a firmer ground and actually become a part of their child’s life, because in the end, they will only end up hurting their kid.

Alex, 15

Also from our National Youth Week series, written by teenagers:

Parents, don’t teach your kids to fear people (Jamie, 14)

We’re not all bad (Resi, 14)

Public versus private education (Phoebe, 17)

I don’t want to have sex with your daughter (Oscar, 16)





  1. Alex, you are a genius. I know exactly what you are saying. My older child has friends who have few boundaries. It is not that the parents don’t care, it is perhaps because the parents have not kept up good communication with their kids & don’t really know what they are up to. Meanwhile my kids feel like they have the strictest parents in their group. My kids know what our family values are & we talk about the drugs, alcohol & sex. My older child says I have to trust her judgement as she knows what she is doing. It is hard to let her go & mix with this rebel group of hers but often she texts me to collect her early & she has chosen not to smoke & opts out of the drug scene. I think she has set her own boundaries & I can trust her judgement. If I stopped her going out & finding her own way of dealing with the temptations that would not be helping her become an adult.



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