Two days later he was back at school after having to convince the Principal that he was going to get serious about his studies and his life.
Fast forward three months, he now attends school everyday without fail. He attends before-school tutoring offered to him by a very dedicated teacher who recognised his potential and came home with a report card with mostly As, and a few Bs. This was the same kid who came home with Cs and Ds for the past two years.
“I’ve asked what went wrong, what did I do wrong? His response was that we made it too easy for him.”
Since then we’ve talked more about that time. I’ve asked what went wrong, what did I do wrong? His response was that we made it too easy for him. Yes, we yelled and punished, but he still had everything he wanted, he knew how to play us. He knew he had a good life, parents who would go to the ends of the earth for him, and that was the problem. We had taught him unknowingly it was all about him. We weren’t people, we were mum and dad.
When he had time to reflect and look at us from a different perspective, as people who could be wounded and hurt by his actions his thoughts changed. His initial decision to go back to school I’ve since found out was to prove to us that he could do the right thing, but in the end he learnt something else. He learnt he could do whatever he wanted, the power of his future was in his hands, not ours. We can’t control him, we can only guide him.
“He is a teenager, he sulks and sasses and refuses to clean his room, but if that is my biggest problem with him, then that’s ok.”
I have since discovered he is the most amazingly compassionate individual with a strong sense of protectiveness, especially over his 12-year-old brother. He makes me laugh on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong; he is a teenager, he sulks and sasses and refuses to clean his room, but if that is my biggest problem with him, then that’s ok.
I know a lot of parents won’t agree with the way I handled the situation. We all think and react differently and that’s ok. It’s the outcome that matters the most.
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